Children and Parents

One of the most rewarding parables in the Bible is the parable of the prodigal son.

In many ways this parable parallels the life of many young people.

How often have we heard and many of us even said, “I can’t wait until I’m grown and can get out of this house.” This line was often used when parents’ held firm to their beliefs and would not allow you to do the things you thought they should.

In my day, parents ruled their household often with commandments of the way things were going to go in their home. They paid the bills, provided food, clothing, and lodging for us yet there was an expectation placed on us as their children.

We were expected to go to go to school, and to be a positive part of our family and society. If at any time you got out of line you were quickly put back in your place and reminded that, “This is my house and you will do what I say!” There were not many times growing up that we could debate a particular circumstance or situation with attempts to change a situation or final decision. What our parents said became gospel, the rules of the house and we were to follow it to the letter.

Our parents demanded respect whether we wanted to give it or not! There was no refusal, or questioning of the code of honor they expected and maintained every day for their families.

One day I was at work and witnessed a little boy’s interaction with his mother, he could not have been no more than 8. He was asking for something and from the conversation I assumed the mother said no. The little boy went on to say, “you’re stupid I hate you,” yelling at the top of his lungs. I stood there in utter amazement as the mother said, “don’t say that.” The little boy continued to yell at her as they proceeded down the hall. For some reason I just couldn’t take my eyes off of the two of them. I felt bad for the mother who seemed really embarrassed and hurt by what her young son was yelling as she walked down the hall. I wanted to take the little kid by the arm and tell him, “don’t you ever speak to your mother like that again!” It was obvious he needed some strong firm direction.

Somewhere parenting has really taken a flip!

I would have never ever thought of saying something like that to my mother, nor my father it just wasn’t heard of! Now me and my siblings might say something while we were mad about some type punishment we received and we might certainly say something like that amongst ourselves but directly to their face oh no way!

Growing up in a time when, “In God we trust meant something!” We feared and respected God! We feared and respected our parents. We also knew it was a community effort to help keep you on track. If your neighbor saw you doing something wrong, they would correct you and then contact your parents. You always knew if that happened you had to go round two with your parents. Times have become very different now we have taken the term parent out of context and we now want to become friends.

Having a close relationship with your child or children is good yet there is a difference in being a parent and friend. We want our children to be able to talk to us about anything, and still maintain that level of respect between parent and child.

On our currency it says, “In God We Trust.” The Bible tells children “Honor your Father and Mother that your days may be long among the land.” As parents we do our kids a great big disservice when we allow them to dishonor us.

There is no road map, no guidelines for being a parent most learn from how they were raised, and from the assistance of friends. For most it is trial and error! Often parents tend to say I am not going to raise my kids the way I was raised.

My questions to you would be?

  1. What was so bad about your upbringing?

  2. Did your upbringing aide you in any way?

  3. Did it hinder your growth as a positive figure in society?

Parents should always be there to guide, instruct, correct, protect, and provide.

Children should love, honor, and respect their parents. Often what we fail to realize as children is whatever we have been through, go through, or experience the greatest blessing we were given is life! We have the ability to change anything negative in our path past and present! No matter what curves life has thrown you the greatest gift we share is life!

Siblings

Sibling Love


Though our world is changing there is one thing that should not change and that is the love shared between blood brothers and sisters. In these uncertain times I often hear people say how they don’t like a brother or a sister in their own family. Wow! When I was coming up my dad would not allow my brothers and I to fight. He often told us our job as brothers was to love and protect each other. I grew up in a time where parents didn’t spare the rod to spoil the child! He would tell us he was going to give us boxing gloves and the one that won he was going to spank, and the one that lost he was going to spank so we better knock each other out. My brother and I both knew that was physically impossible so we put aside the thought of fighting.

Oh that isn’t to say that we did not argue or attempt to fight when he wasn’t around, though we knew if we left any visible marks or he found out we would have to do as he suggested.

Later in life I have always remembered what my father said to my brother and I when we were younger.

Often when we are young we can get along in most cases! It is when we start to grow and become our own individual self that we begin to focus on our differences which often seem to divide us. When we were kids it was so much simpler to realize that one liked to watch cartoons and one liked to watch Godzilla. We somehow learned to compromise to try and give each person what they wanted. We somehow accepted the fact that my brother is different than me and that’s okay because he is my brother.

As we grow that becomes more difficult for us to do, just why is that? We have placed an expectation on them because they are our family. If they do something I don’t like it is better for me just to cut them off and not deal with them at all. Or if they say something that I don’t think they should have said it becomes easy to discard them as family often holding a grudge for years. Look at all the time that has been wasted on something trivial.

My favorite scripture says, “When I was a child I spoke as a child, I thought as a child but now that I have become a man I put away childish things.” As we mature our relationship with our siblings should mature. We should no longer think as a child would or even treat our siblings like we are still children. Your family, your brother or sister should always be your first line of support, defense, and love. You should be able to count on your family before you count on anyone else. Whatever differences you might have they should be accepted first of all with love! See, neither one of us have the power to change anyone! What we do have the power to do is love them! It’s just that simple! We often try to make it harder than it is but it is as simple as that!

You should want to be with your siblings and around your siblings as much as possible because life is short! One thing about genuine Love it grows, often setting a great example for friends and other family members to see and to aspire to have in their own families.

It is not only what the world needs now, it is what families need now

“LOVE”

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What the world needs now is ____?

Friendship

The dictionary defines friendship as, the state of being friends: The relationship between friends: A friendly feeling or attitude: Kindness or help given to someone.

How do you define friendship and what exactly does it mean to you? I have watched and learned a lot over the years and often wonder why or how the concept of friendship has gotten so screwed up. I have often heard this saying, “In order to gain friends you must first show yourself friendly.” Many people believe they know the meaning of friendship but it often lacks substance! Often lacking the ingredients or fiber that can make strong and able to withstand the test of time!

Often we don’t understand that everyone we come in contact with is not meant to be a friend. There are even those whom we have known for a long time are sometimes not meant to remain a part of your circle.

A friend is someone who doesn’t see you for what you look like, have, or possibly might obtain. Real friends touch the heart, and reach the heart!

Phillia: A deep love we practice for each other. A love between friends bound, we all should be wrapped, twisted and tied up in

1st Corinthians 13th Chapter.

I am thankful to have friends and to be able to realize those put in my life to stay, and those meant to pass through and keep going.

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www.andre2lifecoachu.com

A real good friend!